


Tsukki & Yachi's Strawberry-flavored Adventures

by mangetsu_san



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Captain Tsukishima Kei, Coming Out, Confessions, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Graduation, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Post-Canon, Third Year Tsukishima Kei, Third Year Yachi Hitoka, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-18 11:52:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17580302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangetsu_san/pseuds/mangetsu_san
Summary: „Okay, now that our captain and manager are done breaking hearts for today, can we start practicing?“ Yamaguchi teased them. The blond duo sighed in relief and jogged to the gym like there’s nothing else they’d rather do. And fair enough, volleyball was by far the best distraction from their feelings.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just really, really needed to write Tsukki and Yachi being besties and talking about their crushes over some strawberry shortcake. It kind of got out of hand.

It was understandable for guys like Oikawa to have flocks of girls surrounding them at all times. He was flirty, approachable, naturally charming, and spent way too much time on his appearance. It was also a given that a lot of guys would be attracted to a girl like Shimizu. She’s quiet enough to be mysterious, but not cold – she’s always radiating kindness and intelligence.

 

People like that had to exist to maintain some twisted kind of order in high school, Tsukishima thought. But never in a million years would he think those people could be him and Yachi.

 

In their first year, they were both just about invisible. Tsukishima could never slip completely off the radar, as much as he wanted to, just because of his freakish height. Some guys were jealous of him because of that, but no girl ever showed signs of interest in him. He was still too scary to be dateable, and definitely not the type who would sing infinite praise to you after rejecting your confession.

 

Yachi was always cute, but there were a lot of cute girls in school. She was too child-like to be looked at as a woman, with her little starry hairclips, flat chest and not even 150cm of height. She was also clumsy, got flustered too easily, and always looked like she was lost in her inner world. They both dedicated their lives to studying and the volleyball club, without dating anyone or even sharing their crushes like everyone else on the team.

 

But then their third year rolled around and turned everything upside down.

 

Tsukishima was named the captain of the volleyball team, switched from glasses to contacts and grew out his bangs. He still wasn't the friendliest person in the room, but the role of the captain showed a whole new side of him. Not without provocation and brutal honesty, Tsukishima was unexpectedly caring and supportive of his team. In his own way, anyway.

 

Ennoshita said it on their graduation day last year, when he announced his decision. „Tsukishima-kun is the most perceptive of the current second-years, he'll know how to bring out the best in his teammates because he can figure out everyone's strengths and weaknesses and sense everything that's happening on the court, even when he's not looking. He won’t be too soft on you like Yamaguchi, erratic like Hinata, or as short-tempered as Kageyama. Take care of them, Tsukishima.“

 

That little speech turned out to be nothing but true. Nobody expected him of all people to fit that part so well, not even Tsukishima himself, but he was now thankful that his senpai trusted him – for someone who said it was „just a club“ in his first year, he was really enjoying both the control and the responsibility it gave him.

 

Yachi’s transformation was also drastic – her hair reached her shoulder blades, she grew about 5cm, and most importantly, she finally opened up to people. She no longer looked like a newborn puppy scared of its own shadow, she could crack jokes with the boys from her club and also take matters into her own hands when it was important.

 

Whether it be because of their character development or slight changes in hairstyle, Tsukishima and Yachi now both had their proper fan clubs and received love letters on a daily basis.

* * *

 

Nothing could’ve prepared Tsukishima for the day he first found a pink envelope in his locker. 

 

At first he thought there had been some sort of mistake, but when he got home and opened it, the beautiful cursive letters clearly read: _„Dear Tsukishima-kun“_

 

The sender was, apparently, a girl from his class called Moriyama Juri. All he really knew about her was her name and her face. She was one of the prettiest girls in class – petite with silky brown hair and deer-like hazel eyes. In the letter she stated that she will be waiting for an answer and that she doesn’t want to distract Tsukishima from his captain duties, but she hoped she was able to convey her feelings to him.

 

To Tsukishima, this was nothing but an unpleasant reminder of an ugly fact he had been trying to ignore for the past two years.

 

Her neat handwriting, her fruity perfume on the paper and the gentle words of admiration – it all felt unnatural to him. He couldn’t imagine holding a soft little hand or kissing a pair of peach-flavored lips. It wasn’t just about Juri, either. He examined all the girls his friends found attractive, desperately hoping he’d see it too. Some of them were easy on the eyes, like well-composed oil paintings he would admire in a museum, but none of them made him feel the way his friends were describing it. The way he felt about Kuroo.

 

„Tsukki?“ Yamaguchi looked at him worriedly, the day after he found the letter „Are you hiding something from me?“

 

„Like I'd be able to hide anything from your nosy ass" Tsukishima scoffed and bit into his lunch. He had no appetite at all, but he had to do something to distract himself.

 

„Did you know that Moriyama-san has been staring at you all day? She looks kind of scared. Oh god Tsukki, were you mean to her?!" Yamaguchi shrieked and hit his arm.

 

„Shut up, Yamaguchi! Why would I be mean to Moriyama-san?“

 

„Then maybe she likes you!“

 

„Yeah, she does“ Tsukishima admitted.

 

„Woah, we’re getting confident now, are we, captain?“ Yamaguchi said sarcastically „Sorry Tsukki, but Moriyama-san’s a liiiiitle out of your league.“

 

„No, I mean“ Tsukishima’s embarrassment is muffled by the rice of his bento „She told me.“

 

„WHAT?!“ Yamaguchi jumps out of his seat and nearly chokes on his milk.

 

„Keep quiet, you idiot“ Tsukishima shushed him „She kind of, uh, wrote me a letter.“

 

„That’s not fair!“ Yamaguchi whined „You have the emotional capacity of a frying pan and _you’re_ the one getting letters from pretty girls. Poor Moriyama-san, that’s a such a waste!“

 

„Fine, I get it, I’m an ugly frying pan girls shouldn’t be wasting time on, but can you please help me out here?“ Tsukishima accidentally sounded more pleading than he wanted to.

 

„Help you with what?" Yamaguchi looked like he was genuinely confused.

 

„Help me let her down easily, of course“ Tsukishima’s cheeks reddened again.

 

„ _Of course?_ “ Yamaguchi still looked like Tsukishima was speaking another language „Look, I was joking before, I am a little jealous you got confessed to before I did, but I’d like to see you get a girlfriend. Moriyama-san is super smart, and she’s not so short that your back would hurt from kissing her either.“

 

He earns himself a hit on the head and Tsukishima just wants this awkward conversation to be over. He knew he’d have to break it down to her at some point, which made his guts twist. He was never good at dealing with people, and he wasn’t a good actor either, so telling her nice things like „you’ll find someone better than me who’ll give you the love you deserve“ wasn’t going to work.

 

After school he called Moriyama to talk in private. He could almost hear how her heart jumped at those words, and he wanted to think it was pathetic. In reality, he just felt sorry for her, because he knew what it was like to have a crush on someone who’ll never be able to return your feelings. But she’ll deal with it, just like he’s been dealing with it ever since his first year.

 

„Moriyama-san, I… I got your letter.“

 

Even though he couldn’t look her in the eyes, he could feel them burning holes in his face. He knew it was just a look of anticipation, he felt like she was guilt-tripping him. At one point he almost feared she could see right through him, that she was judging his dirty little secret.

 

„I was really flattered by it, I could see your feelings are genuine" he lied. It didn't even stroke his ego, it was just like every love letter he'd heard of – full of cliches, superficial compliments and generalizations that showed how little she really knew him. „But I can’t return them.“

 

„Why not?“ her voice cracked.

 

„As you said yourself, between volleyball and preparing for university, I don’t have enough time to dedicate to a girlfriend. It wouldn’t be fair to put you last when someone else could make you a priority. Please understand that.“

 

Tsukishima had been practicing that plastic scene ever since he got the letter, and he used it every time another one appeared. It became a routine, one he despised – he’d finish his classes, and then in the twenty-minute break he had before practice, he’d have to make a new girl cry.

 

Did they think he was just lying about not wanting to date anyone and waiting for the right girl to confess? He almost considered getting a girlfriend just so he wouldn’t have to go through this every single day, but that would be even more troublesome. Yamaguchi seemed to be the only one who believed his rejection speech, but if he got just one girlfriend, he’d never leave him alone.

 

„Urgh, this is the third time that same guy asked Yacchan out!“ Hinata growled „What part does he not understand? She doesn’t have time for him now!“

 

Thankfully, no one on the volleyball team had a crush on Yachi (the new first-years were sternly warned after being caught drooling over her) – they all thought of her as a baby sister they had to protect at all costs. And these days there was a lot to protect her from.

 

Yachi’s speech carried the same sentiment as Tsukishima’s, only she looked more flustered while delivering it, like she was still a little scared of the guys confessing to her. She’d bow down deeply and emphasize how sorry she was, making it sound like a slightly longer, more earnest version of Tsukishima’s words.

 

„Okay, now that our captain and manager are done breaking hearts for today, can we start practicing?“ Yamaguchi teased them. The blond duo sighed in relief and jogged to the gym like there’s nothing else they’d rather do. And fair enough, volleyball was by far the best distraction from their feelings.

* * *

 

The truth is, Tsukishima can’t say he’s always unhappy in his unrequited love.

 

Sure, it physically hurts every time he sees Kuroo’s face. It hurts the most when Kuroo comes to Sendai for no reason other than to see him, on random weekends when he doesn’t have a lot of homework. It hurts when Kuroo’s thigh is pressing into the side of his own, when he’s pushing words down his throat, fighting desperately not to lose a friend.

 

It doesn’t hurt when he wakes up and his name flashes across the screen.

 

 **Kuroo-san:** good morning captain tsukki! (･ω<)☆

 

 **Tsukki:** Don't you have something better to do at 7 am than bothering a high schooler?

 

 **Kuroo-san:** bothering this particular high schooler is a vital part of my morning routine, you should know it by now!!!

 

 **Tsukki:** Why exactly is it so important?

 

 **Kuroo-san:** bc it gives me strength for the day ahead (^=◕ᴥ◕=^)

 

 **Kuroo-san:** if i can deal with ur morning grumpiness, i can survive anything!!!

 

 **Tsukki** : Maybe I wouldn't be so grumpy if I wasn't wakened up at 7 am every day, and by your annoying texts.

 

 **Kuroo-san** : tsukki doesn’t like my good morning texts?  (｡╯︵╰｡)

 

His mom calls him down for breakfast and he texts that to Kuroo before jumping out of bed. Kuroo argues that Tsukishima doesn’t give him the attention he deserves and that he’ll start texting Hinata because at least he’d be able to appreciate his „genius senpai“. Tsukishima chuckles and turns off his phone before his mother could ask who he’s texting.

 

Ever since that first training camp, they have been texting non-stop, until Kuroo started cautiously suggesting phone calls, and then Skype calls. Tsukishima never understood why Kuroo put so much effort into keeping that friendship alive even now when he was in college, but he was beyond grateful. He never gathered the courage to ask Kuroo that, though.

 

Sometimes Kuroo would text him in the middle of a boring lecture, or as soon as he heads out to lunch, but always, always in the morning. There hasn’t been a day since they exchanged numbers that he hadn’t woken up to Kuroo’s text, and he’d be worried if such a morning came. They briefly discuss what they plan on doing that day (which usually boils down to which exact subject Kuroo is going to fail now and where Bokuto’s taking him to eat after that), wish each other a good day and throw in an insult or two, out of habit.

 

It’s Tsukishima’s favorite part of the day, and probably the reason he stays sane even though he has to deal with college decisions, leading a volleyball team, his new „popularity“, and this big messed-up secret. All on his own.

 

He doesn’t think it’s anyone’s business that he likes guys, but sometimes he thinks it would be easier to accept himself if he knew there was someone else who could accept him too. He had no way of predicting Kuroo’s or Yamaguchi’s reactions, and those were the only two people he could think of that he would want to share something that personal with. If they found it disgusting or abnormal enough to shut him out of their lives, he would, without a doubt, fall apart.

 

He couldn't imagine a world where Kuroo or Yamaguchi are unable to accept something about him. They've seen all his worst sides, stubbornly stuck by his side when everyone else would've told him to just fuck off, and Tsukishima couldn’t push them away even when he purposefully tried to. What if this is enough to change everything, to destroy even the memories they made throughout all these years?

 

Thoughts like that regularly pushed him closer to the edge of a panic attack, which made him realize he had to do something if he doesn’t want to explode and say the wrong thing at the wrong time. He thought long and hard about how to come out to Yamaguchi (he’d take it one step at a time and only tell Kuroo if Yamaguchi reacts positively), but he couldn’t find the right words.

 

It was simple, really – all he had to do was say two words: „I’m gay“. There’s nothing to be explained, no need to make a whole scene out of it. If Yamaguchi is a real friend (and he believed he is, with all his heart), he’d treat it the same as if Tsukishima announced he liked girls with short hair. But he couldn’t say it, no matter how many times he tried.

* * *

 

His angel sent from above comes, both surprisingly and unsurprisingly, in the shape of Yachi Hitoka.

 

It happens one day after practice. He stayed behind when everyone else has long left the changing room because coach Ukai wanted to discuss some strategies with him before suggesting them to the rest of the team too. It was a short talk, but it almost made Tsukishima believe in destiny.

 

He saw Yachi right outside the gym, not rejecting one guy, but three. Although nothing looked strange about that, his gut instinct was telling him to stay where he is, just in case. After all, he wasn’t immune to Yachi either, and the way the entire team treated her like a baby bird rubbed off on him too.

 

„But Yacchan,“ one of the boys said „It’s a shame for such a pretty girl to be single. Don’t waste your high school days passing water bottles to those volleyball fags, you deserve a real man.“

 

Tsukishima feels his stomach sink painfully deep at that word. This is exactly why he couldn’t tell anyone, why he couldn’t even tell his best friend of more than ten years, why he didn’t want to admit it to _himself_ before he got that love letter.

 

„They’re not…“ Yachi panicked „I’m so sorry Hata-san, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just…“

 

„Maybe you’re one of them, huh?“ another, taller boy suggested „It must be contagious or something. That would explain why you never had a boyfriend – you actually want a girlfriend, don’t you, Yacchan?“

 

„That’s right, I see her drawing girls in class all the time! So that’s the reason...“

 

„I don’t…“ Tsukishima could hear sobs hidden behind Yachi’s sobs and he stepped out from behind his cover with a sudden surge of strength.

 

„Sorry guys, we’re not looking for new club members at the moment“ he said with the most polite fake smile on his face and discreetly stood right in front of Yachi so they couldn’t even see her anymore, let alone get closer to her.

 

The boys were visibly scared of Tsukishima, mainly because he was twice their height, but they didn’t want to scatter without a word. „But Yacchan’s still looking for a boyfriend, right?“ one of them smiled, almost apologetically.

 

„No, sorry to disappoint you, that spot’s already taken too“ Tsukishima smiled right back at him and savored the shocked expressions on their faces.

 

„Are you her – ?“ the tallest one stuttered.

 

„Yes, I am“ Tsukishima replied sternly, shocking even himself in the process „Now if I see you talking to her ever again, especially in that tone, I’ll personally cut your tounges off. Understood?“

 

Tsukishima said all that on a whim, without batting an eye, and that calmness made him even scarier. He could do all that for his friend, but he couldn’t even say two words for the sake of his own peace.

 

The boys muttered their apologies and ran like there was no tomorrow. Tsukishima had to laugh, they were so pathetic it was fascinating. Once he’s made sure they were far enough, he turned around only to see Yachi still struggling to muffle her cries.

 

„It’s okay, Yachi-san“ he said awkwardly, not really sure how to comfort people „Let’s go get something to drink.“

 

They sit by the vending machine next to the gym and Tsukishima buys them one strawberry-flavored milk each. Yachi is still unable to thank him properly because she can’t stop the tears from flowing, but she bows and takes the milk in both hands like it’s her most prized possession.

 

„Are you okay? Did they hurt you?“ Tsukishima asked cautiously after making sure Yachi’s crying has subdued at least a little.

 

„No, please don’t worry about me, Tsukishima-kun!“ she starts shaking her head violently „I’m sorry, you didn’t have to do that for me. Now they’ll tell everyone and you won’t be able to find a real girlfriend and…“

 

„Hey, hey, calm down!“ Tsukishima shouts, a little more aggressive than he intended to. Luckily, Yachi doesn’t start crying again, but he makes a mental note to be a bit more gentle to her than the rest of his teammates.

 

Yachi apologizes again, and this time it’s barely audible. „What are you apologizing for?“ Tsukishima snaps again, but he’s quiet too „It’s those shitheads who should be apologizing, not you. They had no right to talk to you that way just because you wouldn’t date them. Just because you wouldn’t date some ugly, judgmental assholes doesn’t mean you’re – Well, even if you were, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not an excuse for them to be assholes.“

 

„Really?“ Yachi’s eyes sparkled like there were entire constellations inside of them „You don’t think that’s... Weird or anything?“

 

„Do you?“ he returns the question to her.

 

„No, no!“ Yachi waved her arms around. Of course she doesn’t, Tsukishima thought. This was _Yachi_ , a girl who was unable to criticize anyone but herself, and who definitely wasn’t build to judge or hate anything. He took some comfort in knowing there are people like Yachi in this world.

 

„Then it’s not. Whatever you are, the only person who has to accept that is you. If anyone else can’t accept you, fuck them“ Tsukishima advised wisely, knowing full well how hypocritical it was of him of all people to say that. He understood how scary it was not knowing if anyone will still be able to love you, how terrifying it was to not even be able to like yourself.

 

„Thank you, Tsukishima-kun“ Yachi smiled at him, but he thought he still saw some tears in the corners of her eyes „You’re actually really kind.“

 

Kind. He remembered that faithful training camp when Kuroo said he was „always this kind“. He wondered if it really was okay for Yachi to cry just because she was shown some human decency, and he wondered if he really had to keep secrets from all of his friends.

 

„I told you already, I didn’t do anything!“ he protested, but the blush on his cheeks only further amused Yachi. This rumor was surely going to spread by tomorrow morning, but that was a good thing for him too – he wouldn’t have to deal with any more uncomfortable confessions and there was no risk of anyone finding out about him, all without having to find an actual girlfriend.

 

„But what are we going to tell our friends? We can’t lie to _them_ too!“ Yachi demanded. Tsukishima’s heart warmed up when she called them „friends“ instead of „team“, but also made him guiltier, because he was lying to them all along.

 

It's not that he didn't have time for a relationship – being a captain and a straight-A student was taxing, of course, but the latter was never too hard for him, and the former only took about two hours of his day, plus an occasional game or training camp over the weekend. It always left him enough time to text Kuroo, video chat with him while they’re both doing homework, spend an entire day with Kuroo whenever he decided to pop up.

 

It was the fact that he couldn’t imagine going so far for anyone who wasn’t Kuroo, not even another guy. He could easily call everyone on the volleyball team his friend, but that status came naturally because they saw each other every day. He hoped it would continue in college too, but there was a steady foundation to build on. With Kuroo, on the other hand, they never even went to the same school. They were never teammates, they weren’t even the same age. They became friends because they chose to, or rather, because Kuroo chose _him_.

 

In the midst of his unwanted thoughts about Kuroo, he remembered Yachi had asked an important question. „I won’t tell them about the bullying, those idiots would find those guys and get themselves banned from playing volleyball for starting a fight.“

 

Yachi giggled because she could imagine that happening too. „So, how about we tell them we both got bored of the confessions and came up with this plan to stop it?“ she suggested.

 

„That’s a good idea“ Tsukishima agreed without a second thought „It’s not entirely false either, I mean, it’s a big upside to this. Unless you wanted a boyfriend..?“

 

Yachi waved her head with strange determination. „No, I kind of... already like someone. But that person would never date me, so this is fine.“

 

Tsukishima caught on the sadness in her voice, the shy smile that came from talking about someone she loved in secret, and the cautious use of the word „person“ instead of „he“. But that was only wishful thinking – just because Yachi wasn’t homophobic didn’t mean she was gay herself. Her quiet support was enough, and she still seemed to understand him better than anyone else.

 

„Same goes for me, so we’re good“ he admitted and earned a surprised gasp from Yachi. He shouldn’t have told her that, but he hoped she wouldn’t be as nosy as Yamaguchi. He hoped in vain.

 

„You _like_ someone!? Tsukishima-kun has a crush?“ she jumped up like an excited bunny. The stars in her eyes only brightened and her smile was more friendly than teasing. He wasn’t even keeping count of how many times it had happened during that conversation, but he thought again it would be okay to tell her.

 

„Yeah, okay, I’m not heartless! Just forget I said anything, the point is, our plan is good to go.“

 

„You’re right, we should probably go home now“ Yachi sounded embarrassed and Tsukishima realized he accidentally came off as too harsh again. If only he knew how to apologize properly, without sounding the way he does when he turns down confessions.

 

They got off the ground and started walking quietly towards the school gates. It was almost sunset, but Tsukishima somehow didn’t want that conversation to end. He never went out of his way to hang out alone with Yachi before, but he realized how comforting her presence really was.

 

She was one of those pleasant people who didn’t suck his energy out by being too loud or invasive. They sometimes talked one on one as captain and manager, even chatted a couple of times when they stayed in the gym later than anyone else, but even then it was mostly school-related. Thankfully, they'd get a lot more opportunities to spend time together like this now that they had to convince the entire school they were dating.

 

„I never thought you were heartless!“ Yachi blurted out when they reached the gates.

 

„Huh?“

 

„I know you try really hard to look that way, and I was scared to death of you in our first year, but lately everyone can see how much fun you have while playing and how much you care about us. No one thinks you’re heartless, Tsukishima-kun!“ she said with an unexpected amount of force, like she really wanted Tsukishima to believe in those words. He did, when she said it like that, and it meant more to him than she knew.

 

He didn’t know how to respond to that properly, so he just smiled. „Hey, if you’re going to be my „girlfriend“, it might be better to call me something other than Tsukishima-kun“ he suggested to shift the topic.

 

„Oh, you’re right!“ Yachi remembered their fake relationship „So, is Tsukki fine?“

 

Tsukishima still cringed a little bit at the nickname, but he’d gotten used to it by now. Everyone on the team, plus Kuroo, was already calling him that, so he had to make peace with it.

 

„Then you should call me Yacchan like everyone else, too!“ Yachi’s lips widened into a girlish smile. This wasn’t as awkward as it should’ve been, not when it's with Yachi. Pretending to date her could actually be a lot of fun, and even beneficial to their friendship. He needed a friend like her right now.

 

„See you tomorrow then, _Yacchan_ “ he waved and they both laughed while going their separate ways. A part of his brain activated, the one whose only job apparently was to think about Kuroo. He couldn’t wait to tell Kuroo about this absurd situation because he knew it’d be funny to him too. He got that same thought quite a lot, whenever something even remotely out of the ordinary happened in his life. His first thought would always be ’I can’t wait to see Kuroo’s reaction’.

 

That was one of the signs that forced him to admit he felt something for Kuroo that went beyond normal friendship. He never felt the need to share details of his everyday life with anyone, but when he remembered it might make Kuroo smile or even laugh, it immediately made the event a lot more exciting. Some things he remembered and retold only to see Kuroo’s face light up like that, even if he himself found them dumb or uninteresting. The became a lot less annoying when he got the chance to share it with Kuroo, who always looked at it from the bright side.

 

As soon as he took his shoes off, he went to his room and shot Kuroo a text asking to Skype him. His Skype started ringing about five minutes later, and the screen showed Kuroo’s name.

 

„Oi, Tsukki!“ he greeted him with the largest smile „Sorry, Bokuto and I were having a competition so I had to find my shirt before calling you.“

 

Tsukishima rolled his eyes and bit back a smile. „What were you competing in this time, and why did you have to do it shirtless?“

 

„In hotness, of course“ Kuroo somehow said with a straight face.

 

„ _And I totally won!“_ Bokuto yelled from another room. Tsukishima wanted to disagree, but he was too busy laughing at the idiocy of Kuroo and his roommate.

 

„That's only because the judge was your boyfriend and you threatened to cry if he didn't pick you. And we all know what a pain in the ass you are when you cry!" Kuroo shifted his eyes to the door and yelled back. Tsukishima’s heart stopped in its tracks.

 

„Bokuto-san has a boyfriend?“ he asked warily.

 

„You didn’t know?“ Kuroo snickered „He finally grew a pair and confessed to him a few weeks ago, ahh, how did I forget to tell you about that, it was hilarious!“

 

„And you’re okay with that? With living with him?“

 

„Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?“ Kuroo asked with a slightly scared expression, but tried to play it cool „They don’t do anything while I’m home, so we’re good.“

 

For the second time that day, a little bit of the weight of his secret was lifted off Tsukishima’s shoulders. It wasn’t anything as big as coming out, but knowing that Yachi and Kuroo, two people that were dear to him, wouldn’t leave his side if he decided to come out, that was already more than he’d expected to get.

 

„Please don’t tell me you’re homophobic, Tsukki“ Kuroo almost pleaded.

 

„No, I'm not!" Tsukishima realized how his questions sounded „I was just assumed you were, like everyone else...“

 

„Wow, I know you love to insult me, but you can’t deny that I’m always kind!“ Kuroo laughed again and the sound soothed Tsukishima’s mind „But can you imagine that, pining over someone for _three years_ and not being able to confess, even though they obviously liked you back!“

 

Tsukishima gave it a weak, hypocritical laugh before he heard Bokuto yelling again. „You’re the one to talk, you still can’t – “

 

Kuroo’s face changed color, but Bokuto’s sentence was cut off before Kuroo could open his mouth. It was a very confusing scene for Tsukishima and looked nerve-wracking for Kuroo.

 

„Okay, remind me not to call anyone while he’s at home, these walls are seriously too thin“ Kuroo laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. Tsukishima was still unsure about what had just happened, but he decided to ignore it.

 

„Anyway, Tsukki, what was so important that _you_ initiated a video chat right after school?“

 

Tsukishima gulped, still caught off guard by the fact that Kuroo knew exactly when his practice ended. Then he had a potentially dangerous idea, but it was one he could benefit from, so he decided to risk it. „So, uh, I kind of have a... girlfriend?“

 

It sounded more like a question, but he saw Kuroo’s expression change into something he couldn’t quite pinpoint. It was a mixture of shock, confusion, and, Tsukishima wanted to think, disappointment. It disappeared in a second, though.

 

„You have a _girlfriend?_ “ Kuroo yelled out.

 

 _„Tsukki has a girlfriend?!“_ Bokuto echoed from outside the room.

 

„Yeah, sort of" Tsukishima started fiddling with his fingers below the screen so Kuroo could see less of his nervousness. Maybe lying to Kuroo wasn't such a good idea, especially now that he knew he could even tell him he's gay, but he did it for the selfish reason of falling out of love with him.

 

If Kuroo knew he had a girlfriend, maybe he’d stop tiptoeing along the line that separated friendship from love. Maybe he’d stop texting him every morning, saying things that Tsukishima’s heart always wanted to interpret differently, giving him false hope. Tsukishima didn’t want any of those things to happen, but he knew it was high time he let go of his ridiculous high school crush.

 

„You can’t _sort of_ have a girlfriend, Tsukki!“ Kuroo laughed again „Who is she? You never told me you had a crush!“

 

„It’s Yachi-san“ he admitted.

 

„My poor sweet Yacchan?! If you hurt her I’ll cut all your fingers off so you can never play volleyball again!“ Kuroo threatened. Tsukishima was almost hurt by Kuroo’s casual approach to this, as if he expected more... jealousy.

 

„Kidding, kidding, I know you’d never hurt a girl“ Kuroo’s smile watered down „That’s great. I’m happy for you guys, you look good together.“

 

That was true, and it was also the expected polite thing to say to anyone who had just gotten into a relationship. He couldn’t read Kuroo’s emotions as clearly anymore, so he just stared at the screen in frustration, unable to think of a way to continue this uncomfortable conversation.

 

„Wow, I was so sure your heart belonged to dinosaurs, especially when Freckles told me you kept rejecting all those pretty girls, but now everything makes sense!“ Kuroo joked again, obviously just trying to lift up the mood.

 

Tsukishima still couldn't think of a single thing to say to Kuroo. This felt wrong, he felt increasingly guiltier for lying to Kuroo, and he wondered if this whole charade was really necessary. Will it really help him forget about Kuroo, or could it potentially put a strain on their friendship? It was too late to think about the possibilities.

 

„What's up with you? Still sad that you lost that hotness competition to Bokuto-san?" Tsukishima finally broke the silence and got a genuine smile out of Kuroo.

 

„No way, I know I’m hotter! Hey, I know, you’re an objective heterosexual judge, you’d say I’m hotter, right?“ Kuroo beamed up, but Tsukishima couldn’t help but chuckle bitterly at the word ’heterosexual’. He was nowhere near objective either, Kuroo was the most beautiful man he’d ever seen, but he never, never gave him what he wanted.

 

„Sorry, I have to agree with Akaashi-san, Bokuto’s hotter“ he grinned ’apologetically’.

 

„Damn, Tsukki, you really enjoy breaking my heart, don’t you?“ Kuroo put a hand to the left side of his chest. Bokuto yelled out some mixture of ’thanks, Tsukki’ and ’told you so!’ and both Kuroo and Tsukishima wished he couldn’t hear every single thing they said.

 

„I, uh, hear some bad things going on between those two in my living room, so I better go out there and protect the purity of my couch“ Kuroo mumbled a weak excuse „Talk to you soon, Tsukki! Say hi to Yacchan for me!“

 

Tsukishima returned a lifeless wave and shut his laptop too harshly. He flopped back onto his bed and buried his face in the pillow to hide his embarrassment. This wasn’t going to change anything, as long as he talked to Kuroo every day like this, there was no way he was falling out of love after two whole years. But he’d rather die than cut all ties with him, even if it was the only way to protect himself from getting hurt. This inescapable heartache was a small price to pay for keeping a friend such as Kuroo in his daily life.

* * *

 

„He’s dating Yacchan“ Kuroo announced when he came out to the living room.

 

„Come here, bro“ Bokuto called him and spread his arms wide. Kuroo sat between Bokuto and his boyfriend and accepted their hug. Akaashi was really only rubbing his back while Bokuto’s muscles were strangling him, but it was strangely comforting. He wanted to cry, but he was still too confused and frustrated to fully accept what just happened.

 

„I’m so sorry bro, I was _positive_ he liked you back!" Bokuto comforted him while running his fingers through his unruly hair.

 

„I told you you should’ve confessed before he found someone else. Maybe he only found a girlfriend because he gave up on pursuing you“ Akaashi deadpanned. His honesty stung, but he always had a good intuition when it came to other people.

 

„No need to give me consolation prizes now. It’s good I didn’t tell him I liked him, he’s obviously straight“ Kuroo’s voice was muffled by Bokuto’s shirt.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Tsukishima woke up to two texts, but neither of them were from Kuroo. They were both from Yamaguchi.

 

_„Whoever you are, come here and tell me what you’ve done to Tsukishima Kei!!!“_

_„First you’re late to school for the first time in your life, and now people are saying you’re dating Yacchan?!_ _?!?!?!?_ _“_

 

„Shit, it's already 8 am!" he noticed while throwing away his blankets. For the first time in two years, Kuroo didn’t wake him up. He didn’t even use alarms anymore because he knew Kuroo would text him as soon as he opened his eyes, and his lectures started at the same time as Tsukishima’s classes. It felt like a stab to the chest.

 

He somehow managed to get to school by the start of second period, and everyone was staring at him in the hallways. There was nothing wrong with his hair nor uniform, he made sure of that, although he had to wear his glasses because he didn’t have the time to deal with contacts. He hated the sudden attention, and being late to class only made it worse.

 

“That’s not fair! Just because he’s tall he gets to date the prettiest girl in school!” a boy he’d never even seen whispered to his friend as he was walking by. He took in a deep breath to prepare for all the times he was going to have to hear that, at least until the end of the week. And it was only Tuesday.

 

“I mean, I am sad, but they look really good together, right?” another girl commented to her group of friends “Yacchan is always kind to everyone and helps me with homework, so I can’t hate on her, plus, their height difference is soo cute!”

 

Great, this was even better. Their fan clubs merging to celebrate them as a couple. Some girls were jealous, but it really was impossible to hate Yachi, so most of them just acted like they were some sort of shoujo manga protagonists, which made him nauseous. He thought about texting Kuroo to complain about this chaos, but then he remembered he never got a good morning message.

 

What if Kuroo didn’t want to be his friend anymore? What if he was jealous just like every other boy in the school, what if he secretly had a crush on Yachi too? It wasn’t impossible, with the way he called her his „poor sweet Yacchan“. That thought sat even worse with Tsukishima than the conversations surrounding him.

 

„Tsukki, _what the HELL?!_ “ Yamaguchi grabbed him by the collar as soon as he saw him.

 

„Calm down, we’ll explain everything to you guys during lunch, okay?“ Tsukishima whispered back because he knew all eyes were still on him „Now let me go.“

 

Yamaguchi obeyed, but he still looked angry. The fact that his best friend would withhold something as important from him was infuriating, and the explanation for that better be a damn good one.

 

The class started and Tsukishima was eternally thankful for the peace and quiet, but not even fifteen minutes later, Yamaguchi passed him a piece of paper. He rolled his eyes and seriously considered not opening it, but he knew Yamaguchi would either throw a tantrum later or keep throwing paper airplanes at him until the teacher punished them both.

 

 _„Didn’t we say nobody gets to date Yachi-chan? Didn’t you both say you don’t have time for relationships? Why didn’t you tell me you liked her?!“_ it read.

 

 _„For fuck’s sake, Yamaguchi, can’t you wait until lunch?! It’s not what it sounds like“_ he wrote and threw the folded paper back at him. Yamaguchi glanced at him suspiciously after reading it, but returned the message to his book bag. Tsukishima sighed again and tried to focus on the lecture, but he couldn’t stop thinking about why Kuroo didn’t wake him up.

 

After five long minutes of going back and forth with himself, he snapped and unlocked his phone under the desk.

 

 **Tsukki:** Did your alarm not wake you up?

 

He sent it without thinking, even though he was in class and Kuroo probably was too. He was desperate to know what he’d done wrong, because he knew there was no chance Kuroo just slept in. As irresponsible as he looked, the only thing that guy was good at was waking up early. He often woke up even before his alarm, because he liked morning showers and drinking his green tea in silence before Bokuto’s activated. He sometimes even went for a run in the crack of dawn, when he couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to wake Tsukishima up to talk to him.

 

 **Kuroo-san:** sorry tsukki, didn’t want to bother you. did you get to school on time?

 

The reply wasn’t instant and though it still lacked capitalization, it also lacked emojis and Tsukishima felt something was wrong. The only reason for this could be the conversation they had yesterday about his „girlfriend“, but he still couldn’t see clearly why that would bother Kuroo so much. He was either jealous that Tsukishima had a girlfriend and he didn’t, or that it was Yachi in particular.

 

 **Tsukki:** Bother me? When has that ever stopped you? And no, I didn’t.

 **Kuroo-san:** sry, i just thought you wouldn’t have time to put up w/ me now that you have a girlfriend. but you should probably set up an alarm.

 **Tsukki:** I’m not „putting up with you“, I’ll always have time for my friends.

 **Tsukki:** And are you saying you won’t text me anymore?

 **Kuroo-san:** sry tsukki im in class g2g

 

Tsukishima closed his phone and he felt his temples pulsing with frustration. He pushed Kuroo away, disregarded his feelings and lied to him. But he couldn’t apologize without telling him the whole truth, which could result in an even bigger catastrophe.

 

He threw his head on the desk and shut his eyes to tune out the noise his mind was making. He didn’t care about the class or appearing unsuspicious anymore, he just couldn’t stand Kuroo acting like this. It might’ve just been a bad day, but if it keeps going, he’s going to have to face Kuroo and finally release all the secrets he’d been keeping to himself for the past two years.

* * *

 

The lunch bell rang too soon.

 

All the third years from the volleyball team gathered on the roof, as they’ve been doing since the start of the school year, but this time all the inquisitive eyes were on Tsukishima and Yachi. Hinata spat out one frantic question after the other, Kageyama tried to look uninterested but side-eyed Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi just waited for the promised explanation with crossed arms and a frown on his face.

 

Yachi looked uncomfortable while trying to get Hinata to stop freaking out, so Tsukishima figured he’d have to deal with this on his own. He wondered if it was really safe to tell them the truth, knowing how loud Hinata could be, but then he remembered Kuroo and what happened the last time he lied to a friend.

 

„First of all, we’re not _actually_ dating“ he pushed his glasses back and began „Both Yachi-san and I got tired of people constantly invading our privacy, so we thought we’d make them leave us alone if we both said we were taken. This way we won’t have to give anyone false hope. That’s it, we don’t like each other in that way, we’re just helping each other as friends.“

 

„Wow, I knew you were both smart, but this is such a big scheme, all just to stop getting confession letters?“ Hinata gasped. They couldn’t tell him that it wasn’t a prepared plan but a heat of the moment weapon against bullying that just came with additional benefits, so they let them all believe they were some sort of masterminds.

 

„That’s about it“ Yachi smiled shyly „You know how persistent some guys can get, so Tsukishima-kun offered to help me by pretending to be my boyfriend, because he’s the only guy at school everyone’s afraid of.“

 

„Aw, Tsukki, I always knew you had a heart!“ Yamaguchi cooed.

 

„So please, we’d appreciate if you didn’t tell anyone about this“ Tsukishima squinted at Hinata, disregarding Yamaguchi’s provocations „We didn’t want to lie to you guys, but the rest of the school has to think this is real, otherwise it’s meaningless.“

 

The trio nodded and Tsukishima’s chest felt only a little lighter after their judgemental eyes had drifted away from him. He was still thinking about Kuroo and how he probably won’t hear from him again today, and he still couldn’t figure out why him dating Yachi affected him so much that he couldn’t even send him a text in the morning.

 

He barely survived the rest of the day, but some subjects did a better job of occupying his thoughts than others. Practice was unusually quiet, and he couldn’t bring himself to give a hundred percent like Kageyama and Hinata. He chose to focus on tutoring the first years since that required less of his own strength, plus their grateful starstruck smiles when he dedicated an entire session to them were a reward of their own. Another good thing was that not a single confession letter was delivered, not to him nor to Yachi.

 

„Hayao-kun acts like he has a crush on you“ Yamaguchi joked in the locker rooms and nudged Tsukishima’s naked rib with his elbow, but it only made Tsukishima drop his head lower and bite his lip. He felt anger swelling up in his throat, but he knew taking it out on Yamaguchi in front of everyone could only blow his cover.

 

„Yeah yeah, it was so funny just now when you asked him to pick up the stray balls and he was all like _Yes, Tsukishima-senpai_! If only those poor kids knew what a nerd you really are!“ Hinata contributed with his high-pitched impersonation of the poor first-year middle blocker. Tsukishima quickened his changing process, eager to be alone as soon as possible and maybe punch something.

 

„We’re just joking, Tsukki“ Yamaguchi assured him when he noticed his grim expression „It’s like that thing you had with Kuroo-san, remember, when he helped you with blocking in our first year? You still look like that when he comes over and we play three-on-three, I guess it’s just a natural fascination with your teacher.“

 

Tsukishima slammed his locker to the point of almost breaking the little metal door and stormed out of the changing room without a word. The remaining third years were left in quiet shock and he felt like he could smash a brick wall right now. It angered him how casually his friends joked about that without the slightest idea of what it’s like, how Yamaguchi only saw Kuroo as his teacher, how they didn’t know the first thing about him and he couldn’t tell them.

 

But that was entirely on him and he didn’t have the right to be angry at them. He’ll apologize tomorrow, and they’ll probably believe it was just an exhausting day, but right now he had a whole list of self-made problems to fix.

 

The only girl waiting for him outside the gym was, to his surprise, Yachi.

 

„Tsukishima-kun, hey“ she waved although they’d seen each other already.

 

„Yachi-san, is everything okay? Did someone bully you for dating me?“ he asked, unsure of why else she’d need to wait for him specifically.

 

„No, no, everything’s fine, everyone has been really supportive, I just wanted to talk to you. If you have some time for me“ Tsukishima still wasn’t sure what was happening, but he agreed and followed her to the school gates.

 

„How about we go to a cafe near here, they have all sorts of delicious cakes!“ Yachi suggested and he nodded again. Yachi’s company was more than welcome on a day like this, even though he first thought he’d want to be alone. Her positive yet not overwhelming energy was like a shield that protected Tsukishima from being devoured by his thoughts in the silence of his room.

 

They soon reached a small coffee shop that didn’t seem like anything special to Tsukishima, but Yachi looked more relaxed as soon as they sat down, like it was her hidden happy place. She slid the menu at him and he immediately noticed a reasonably-priced strawberry shortcake, which was just the right remedy for a half-broken heart.

 

„I’ll have a raspberry muffin and camomile tea“ Yachi ordered brightly as soon as the young waitress approached them „How about you, Tsukishima-kun?“

 

He mumbled out ’strawberry shortcake’, realizing how embarrassing it actually was, but he really needed it too much to care about anyone’s opinion. Yachi returned the waitress’ smile and didn’t seem to pay any attention to Tsukishima’s order.

 

„Tsukishima-kun, you didn’t look good today during practice. I wanted to ask if everything’s okay, but of course, you don’t have to share it with me if you don’t want to“ Yachi checked cautiously. Tsukishima was stunned by her perceptiveness – that’s why she was a great manager. She was always there to talk to the boys as a friend whenever she saw one of them was off at practice. She often helped them solve inner conflicts and boosted their confidence when they were scared and insecure. Tsukishima suggested she studied psychology, but she was adamant about being an illustrator.

 

„I’m fine, really“ Tsukishima lied „I just didn’t get enough sleep last night.“

 

„Then, if that’s okay, I want to share something with you“ Yachi’s eyes dropped to her lap „It might be a bit selfish, but I’ve been keeping it to myself for a few years now and after our talk yesterday, I really wanted to tell you. I don’t think I could tell anyone else.“

 

Tsukishima gulped and tried to remember the details of their talk yesterday, before it all went to hell with Kuroo. He remembered how he wanted Yachi to be the first person he came out to, how nice and natural it felt to talk to her.

 

„I told you I like someone who’ll never like me back, right?“ she started shaking nervously „Well, that person is... Shimizu-senpai. Those guys who bullied me, they were right. That’s the real reason I’m not interested in anyone else.“

 

Those words produced a dizzying echo in Tsukishima’s head. He couldn’t believe it was Yachi who was telling him this with so much courage, and he couldn’t even say it out loud to his reflection in the mirror. At the same time, he was honored that she trusted him, envious that he couldn’t do the same, and shocked by this new information.

 

„I’m sorry, you probably didn’t care about that!“ she stuttered „It’s just, you told me you were okay with that, and I really feel a lot better now that I’ve told someone. Thank you for listening to me.“

 

„Yachi“ he cut her panic short with determination „You have nothing to thank me for.“

 

Yachi looked dumbfounded but relieved, and just in time, the waitress came with their orders. Tsukishima almost shed a tear at the sight of a fluffy piece of his favorite dessert, it looked unrealistically tasty.

 

„Ah, let’s eat then!“ Yachi suggested with the usual cheer back in her voice. And sure enough, the cake really was as delicious as it looked. Yachi seemed happy with her muffin too, stuffing her cheeks like a tiny rabbit. Tsukishima couldn't help but smile fondly at the entire scene.

 

After taking some time to enjoy their food, Tsukishima gathered the strength he’d needed for so long. „You know, you’re not the only one who feels that way. If you were brave enough to tell me that, I think it’s only fair if I’m honest with you too. I... understand what you’re going through.“

 

He still couldn’t make his mouth form _the words_ , no matter how much he wanted to.

 

„Huh?“ Yachi tilted her head to the side.

 

„What I’m trying to say is“ Tsukishima retried „I like boys. Or, maybe just one boy.“

 

The first part was blurted out as fast as possible, but the second one came to him more naturally. He liked Kuroo, who was a undeniably a boy, but that was less relevant than the fact that he was, simply, _Kuroo_. He might’ve liked him if he were a girl too, and it didn’t matter what kind of people he may like in the future. The only thing that mattered to him right now was that he couldn’t imagine liking anyone other than Kuroo.

 

„Oh“ Yachi’s lips formed a small circle. It was no surprise to Tsukishima that she needed some time to process that information, but he wished she would just say anything instead of letting his mean mind fill in the gaps.

 

And then she laughed. Without a trace of sarcasm, just Yachi’s usual girlish laughter bubbling in her throat. „So the two most popular people in Karasuno are both gay? This really sounds like a TV drama now!“

 

When she put it like that, Tsukishima had to laugh too. It was one hell of a situation they were in, but it was a hundred times more bearable now that they had another person just like them on their side. Looking back, Tsukishima wondered if he would’ve survived all of that if it weren’t for a short blonde who ate pastries with him and listened to his problems without a hint of discomfort.

 

„And does that crush of yours have something to do with why you were so down today?“

 

„Maybe...“ Tsukishima averted his eyes again. To hell with it, he might as well tell Yachi the whole story now that he already went this far. He was beyond embarrassed, since it was his first time openly discussing his romantic feelings (or any feelings, for that matter), but he decided to go with the flow, remembering again how that could’ve saved his friendship with Kuroo.

 

„You’ll have to tell me everything now. Who is he, how did you two meet, and most importantly, what did he do to hurt you?“ Yachi looked like an angry Pomeranian.

 

„He didn’t do anything“ Tsukishima sighed protectively „It’s all my fault. I lied to him in a desperate attempt to fall out of love with him and now I think he’s kind of mad at me. He won’t say it directly, but he’s been avoiding me all day.“

 

„Well, what did you tell him?“ Yachi asked and took a bite of his cake.

 

„I told him I was dating you” he coughed out “I didn’t mention the ’fake’ part.“

 

„Oh my god, Tsukishima-kun!“ Yachi stared at him in disbelief „And since then he hasn’t tried to talk to you?“ Tsukishima just nodded.

 

„ _Hmm…_ That could really mean a lot of things, but if I had to take a wild guess,“ Yachi’s voice was dripping with sarcasm and her hand was placed on her chin theatrically „I’d say he’s _heartbroken_.“

 

„I mean, I’ve thought of that too, it’s plausible, but still, he hasn’t seen you in a while and I don’t think you’ve ever communicated, he never even mentioned liking you...“

 

„Tsukishima!“ Yachi threw a small bag of sugar at his face „Don’t play dumb! You know exactly what I mean, you’re just afraid to admit it to yourself. You’re afraid you’ll get your hopes up and then make a fool out of yourself if your instincts prove wrong, but I’m telling you, this is objective proof!“

 

He had never seen Yachi so fired up about anything other than volleyball before. Her enthusiasm showed a different, less timid side of her, and it looked like she would go at all lengths to make sure Tsukishima’s crush worked out.

 

„You don’t even know who it is“ Tsukishima scoffed quietly „There’s no way someone like him would like someone like me. He’s a college student from Tokyo, ten times the captain, and volleyball player in general, that I’ll ever be, and I won’t even discuss his... appearance.“

 

„Wait, let me guess!“ Yachi now looked even more excited „A college student from Tokyo, that’s impressive... And a volleyball captain... There’s only one option!“

 

An animated lightbulb might’ve as well appeared above her head, because she flashed a proud smile once her detective work was over. „It’s Nekoma’s Kuroo-san!“ she announced. Kei had no choice but to look out the window on his side, and that was answer enough for Yachi.

 

„That makes sense“ she continued piecing the story together „He comes to our games almost more often than our own senpais, and then you two go off alone somewhere. I should’ve known!“

 

„Okay, can we stop talking about him now?!“ Tsukishima shook her out of her loud thoughts with the same kind of irritation „Don’t you have a crush of your own to worry about?“

 

Yachi looked like a puppy that had just been scolded, but still a little bit frustrated. „At least yours likes you back...“ she said under her breath and fiddled with the spoon in her tea.

 

„We don’t know that“ Tsukishima growled „And we also don’t know that Shimizu-senpai doesn’t like you. Give me three pieces of evidence and I’ll believe you.“

 

„Well, she... She’s a lot smarter than me and she’s just as popular in college as she was in high school, I’m sure she has better options than a clumsy high schooler, and...“

 

„But she’s not in a relationship, is she? She hasn’t been for as long as you’ve known her?“ Tsukishima continued his questioning, and Yachi confirmed his assumptions.

 

„Do you still text? I know she sometimes comes to our matches, but do you hang out outside of that? I mean, she’s still in Sendai.“

 

„Yeah, okay, we do, we text almost every day, but that doesn’t have to mean anything!“ Yachi insisted.

 

„Then don’t give me shit for being ’oblivious’ until you accept that you do stand a chance. At least in theory.“

 

They leaned back into their chairs and started laughing almost in sync. It was a new thing for both of them, being able to talk to a friend about your crush so openly, without carefully omitting every little word that could hint at their gender. They felt like normal high schoolers, the way they should have been able to feel from the start.

 

„So, what are you going to do about Kuroo-san?“ she returned the conversation back to him „Are you going to apologize?“

 

„I want to, but I don’t know how...“ he said, eyes still fixated on the window.

 

„Honesty is the best policy, right?“ she said with a child-like smile „I don’t know a lot about your friendship, but to me, this is enough to go on. You should tell him outright why you felt the need to lie to him.“

 

„I don’t know about that“ Tsukishima threw his head back in resignation „It will only get worse if he rejects me. I’ll just ask him why it’s bothering him so much.“

 

„Urgh, you really don’t know how to take the blame!“ he could hear the resignation in Yachi’s voice „Anyway, just talk to him. At the very least he’ll be glad that you noticed his absence today and that you took initiative in trying to solve that instead of just waiting for him to return to normal.“

 

After that, he convinced Yachi to talk about Shimizu as a distraction. He could hear in her voice how long she’d been repressing those emotions, and the sparkle in her eyes was unmissable proof of the purity of her feelings. Seeing Yachi so worked up like that was beyond adorable, but most of all, he was glad he knew someone who could understand his feelings perfectly. Their stories overlapped in so many points, but something about the way Yachi was telling it put such a soft image in people’s heads that even those who’d never seen her would fall in love with her just from that.

 

He learned that Shimizu called Yachi „Hiichan“, derived from her first name, Hitoka, and that that was Yachi’s favorite nickname, one she’d never let anyone else use because Shimizu thought of it first. He also learned Shimizu was majoring in script-writing and promised Yachi they’d work on a project together one day. It was the main thing pushing Yachi towards her goals. Shimizu’s skin always smelled like vanilla and she knew all sorts of ways to braid hair even as short as Yachi’s once was, but she grew it out so the braiding process would last longer. Tsukishima had to laugh at how sickeningly sweet that was.

 

He let her gush about her crush for who knows how long and it was sort of therapeutical. He knew he’d have to go home and do something about the Kuroo situation sooner or later, but for now, being around Yachi and thus being in the range of her big pink cloud of happiness was enough to make his heart at ease. He couldn’t thank the heavens enough for creating someone like Yachi.

 

At some point of the afternoon Yachi suggested they get the check (Tsukishima insisted on paying for it, despite her protests, as a token of gratitude for helping him understand his emotions), and they got ready to part ways.

 

„Does this count as our first date?“ Yachi snickered.

 

„I think it does“ Tsukishima agreed „It was the most fun I could ever have on a date with a girl.“

 

„Well, make sure to have more fun on your date with Kuroo-san, once you’ve figured everything out“ Yachi smiled and hugged him goodbye.

* * *

 

The moment he reached his home he called Kuroo on the phone, without even texting to see if he was doing something else. He couldn’t survive looking at his face right now, so Skype was out of question, but he needed to untangle this mess as soon as possible. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of waking up to his annoying alarm tomorrow and waste another day without talking to Kuroo.

 

After three rings, Kuroo picked up. „Hi, Tsukki?“

 

„Kuroo-san, do you have some time to talk?“ he asked seriously. It's been a while since he used an honorific with his name, and it made his heart drop.

 

„Uh, sure, what about?“ Kuroo still sounded hesitant.

 

„Look, I don’t know what I did wrong, but I please tell me so I can fix it. I know there was a reason you didn’t text me this morning and a reason you kept dodging my texts, and I’m not going to let it continue. Just talk to me, I’ll take it“ he dished out in one breath.

 

„You didn’t do anything wrong, I just need some time to sort out my thoughts. I think it’ll be easier if I don’t talk to you for a while. I’m sorry Tsukki, please try to understand that“ Kuroo’s voice cracked slightly.

 

„I have no clue what I’m even supposed to understand here!“ Tsukishima snapped „If you like Yachi-san, I’ll break up with her. You’re my friend before everything else, you can tell me anything.“

 

He realized how unfair and hypocritical he was being, especially if Yachi's theory was true. On one hand, he wanted it to be, but he also couldn't live with the fact that he'd selfishly hurt Kuroo, too insecure to even consider how it might affect him.

 

„Gosh, I don’t like Yacchan that way, please don’t break up with her because of me!“ Kuroo laughed „Sorry, there are some things I just shouldn’t tell you. Some things that would make you block me out of your life, and I can’t let that happen. So just, I’ll just – I’ll call you when I’m ready, okay? Don’t worry about it, I _will_ call. And don’t be late to class again, Tsukki.“

 

Kuroo hung up before he could reply and left those last words throbbing painfully in his chest.

 

He threw his phone at the wall and it miraculously didn’t crack, but something inside of him did. He was forced to endure who knows how many days, weeks, months? – without talking to Kuroo. It had already become a habit, they were always there for each other before big games or exam seasons in school. Kuroo helped him get through the most disheartening moments of his life, kept him laughing when he thought he didn’t have the energy to smile, and he never got bored of assisting him with his chemistry homework. But of course he’d fuck that up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sassy gay yachi + first-year boys crushing on captain tsukki = my aesthetics


	3. Chapter 3

Three weeks had passed.

Three weeks with no calls, no video chats, not even a single text message. Almost the whole month of September had passed and the moments he wanted to but couldn’t share with Kuroo were piling up. The closer it was to his birthday, the closer he felt to a breakdown.

It was September 26th, the day before his big 18th birthday, when he first let himself be completely vulnerable around Yachi.

She was by his side through the whole process, asking him daily how he was coping (but after a while even she had stopped asking if Kuroo called, knowing it would only put salt to his wounds). She was a true friend, and yet Tsukishima stubbornly insisted he didn’t miss Kuroo _that_ much. Yachi could see right through him, but chose not to say anything in fear it would only anger Tsukishima.

He became visibly colder to his teammates, as distanced as he was at the beginning of his first year, before he met Kuroo. He didn’t come late to class, his grades didn’t drop and he was even more forceful while playing volleyball, but his friends knew it was all a mask. It was written clearly on the dark, but also slightly red circles under his eyes, although he did his best to hide it.

Yamaguchi confronted him about it sometime during the second week, and he came out to him after a heated argument caused by his denial. Thankfully, Yamaguchi became a lot tougher during his three years in Karasuno and he didn’t let him off the hook too easily, so in the end he ran out of patience and made Yamaguchi the second person to know his secret.

At first he was shocked, just like Yachi, but not too surprisingly, he was supportive and only had a problem with his best friend not telling him such an important thing earlier. He even went as far as to let him in on the whole Kuroo situation, and Yamaguchi shared Yachi’s opinion that it only came to this because Kuroo liked him too.

But what was that worth now? They weren’t on speaking terms, and Tsukishima could do nothing but wait. He was worried about Kuroo, he just wanted to know if he was doing okay, but it would be cruel of him to disrespect Kuroo’s request and call just to ask that. He just prayed for that one call, kept his ringtone at maximum volume even in class, and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the empty screen.

Every time he got a text his heart jumped and he shut his eyes before opening it, but it was never Kuroo. It was usually his friends checking up on him, which was just as appreciated, but it was not enough. Some days he’d lose patience and put in all the digits of Kuroo’s number, holding the phone in his hand for five minutes before turning it off again. No matter how bad things got, Kuroo had the right to take a break from him and he had to respect that.

The scariest of all thoughts wasn’t the possibility of Kuroo never calling again (he always kept his promises), it was the fact that Kuroo _needed_ a break from him, the fact that he wasn’t as good for Kuroo as he was for him. He should’ve been a positive thing in his life, someone Kuroo could feel safe and energized around, but he was never that kind of person.

* * *

 

„What if he doesn’t even remember my birthday?“ he asked Yachi that day in the same coffee shop where they went on their first “date“. It became their usual spot, especially when one of both of them were drained for whatever reason.

„Of course he’ll remember!“ Yachi assured him „No matter what’s going on between you, birthdays are exceptions. He’ll definitely at least send you a text.“

„It’s just, this is kind of a busy point of the semester for him, so every year we’d video chat in the evening and he’d say how much he wanted to come here and that he’ll definitely find a way to come next year. He and Bokuto also sing me that annoying birthday song, and last year they bought a cake for themselves and said they were eating it for me" Tsukishima chuckled at the memories. Knowing that he wasn’t going to get that this year stung more than it should have.

„You should have told him“ Yachi tried not to sound like she was scolding him, but her point was still harshly true „It wouldn’t have come to this.“

„Yeah, then I wouldn’t even have this tiny bit of hope that he’ll ever call again“ Tsukishima laughed sarcastically.

„I’m still sure everything will fall into place“ Yachi stretched out her arm to rub his head, something she fell into the habit of doing when he was being moody „You know he’ll call eventually, so even if it doesn’t happen tomorrow, don’t let it ruin your special day!“

A pleasant Kuroo-unrelated conversation and one heavenly piece of strawberry shortcake later, some of Tsukishima's anxiety was alleviated. He was still sure he’d feel like shit if he didn’t even get a formal text from Kuroo tomorrow, but he’d just have to wait and see. It wasn’t like he ever cared about birthdays, on the contrary, he hated being the center of attention, especially when it was for no valid reason, but he was afraid it would be a sure sign that Kuroo had forgotten all about him.

The moment she was out of Tsukishima’s hearing range, Yachi called Hinata.

„Yacchan, what’s up?“ Hinata picked up cheerfully.

„Hi, Hinata, sorry to disturb you, but I really need a favor.“

„Sure, what is it?“ Hinata agreed without hesitation.

„Is there a way for you to get the number of Nekoma’s former captain, Kuroo Tetsurou?“

„Oh yeah, Kuroo-san! I actually still talk to his best friend, Kenma, I’ll just shoot him a text!“ Hinata solved her problem „Are you finally looking for a _real_ boyfriend?“

„It’s for a friend“ she laughed „Thank you so much, please just text me the number once you get it.“

„No problem!“

* * *

 

Tsukishima woke up on the morning of his birthday to a dozen texts, but scrolling through them, he didn't find Kuroo's name.

He felt his heart shatter into a million pieces, but he remembered Yachi’s advice not to let it ruin his day and got out of bed like it was just another normal day. Kuroo always texted him at midnight sharp, but last night he made himself go to sleep before that so he wouldn’t have to sit in the dark and pathetically wait for a stupid text that probably wasn’t coming anyway.

It proved to be a good choice, since he never received that text, not on midnight, not seven hours later when he woke up. He wasn’t going to get it and he had to learn to be okay with that.

At school he could half-genuinely smile at all the classmates who wished him a happy birthday. Some girls even brought him chocolate, knowing full well he already had a girlfriend. They told him it wasn’t a confession, just a token of gratitude for being a good captain to the school’s precious volleyball team and a helpful classmate. He never liked chocolate – it was always Kuroo’s thing.

His friends were extra cheerful during lunch and he couldn’t help but lighten up too. It would be a shame to ruin everyone else’s day just because he didn’t get one text, especially when he could see how hard they were trying to make him happy. Hinata and Kageyama argued about whose fault it was that they got kicked out of English class, and Tsukishima laughed knowing his life could continue without Kuroo Tetsurou.

„ _You_ of all people are in a particularly good mood today“ Tsukishima noticed when he and Yachi were left alone „Did something happen with Shimizu-san?“

Yachi's face reddened comically fast every time that name was mentioned in any context and she flapped her hands around in defense. „No, no, I’m just excited about something!“

„Hm, what is it?“

„It’s a surprise!“ she said and brought her index finger to her own lips. Her mischevious eyes and sheepish smile weren’t fooling Tsukishima.

„You bring me a strawberry shortcake to practice every year, I’m just pretending to be surprised at this point“ Tsukishima said to disappoint her.

„Okay, yeah, we’re a little predictable, but I promise it’s a very special kind of cake this year! We really went all out now that you’re _the_ captain!“ excitement didn't leave Yachi's voice even as she revealed the whole anticlimactic plan.

„Fine, then I’m excited too“ Tsukishima said just to indulge her. It was really touching how she, as well as all his other friends, tried hard to make today perfect for him, and how excited they were to potentially see a smile on his face, something that didn’t come often. It wasn’t as unimaginable as it was in his first year, but it had become a lot rarer since he’d stopped talking to Kuroo.

He spent the rest of classes not checking his muted phone, just waiting to taste the new cake Yachi had picked out for him.

* * *

 

He went to practice later than everyone else on purpose, giving them time to set up their „surprise“. He was getting kind of giddy just thinking about it (not that he’d ever admit it), and then he finally opened the door of the unnaturally quiet gym.

As soon as he reached the doorknob he heard a choir of „Happy birthday, captain!“, lead by, obviously, Hinata. The first-years bowed down, and even the coaches were smiling at him. But then he realized. There was someone else standing with them, hiding his face behind the extravagant three-tier cake he was holding up.

It was Kuroo.

„Kuroo-san?“ he almost choked on the name.

„Happy birthday, Tsukki“ he said with a shy smile. Still, it was a smile. Kuroo was there, in Miyagi, during one of his busiest weeks in college, and he was there just for his birthday. Tsukishima wanted to cry, but not in front of Kuroo and the entire team. He’d immediately lose his reputation of a cool captain.

„Yachi-san invited Kuroo-san to help you teach the new first years, so you better not slack off today! He’s one of the best middle blockers in the college league, so listen carefully to his advice“ Coach Ukai explained. Karasuno’s two new middle blockers looked like they were about to pass out. If they admired Tsukishima, their admiration for _his_ mentor was even bigger.

„No wonder Tsukishima-senpai is so good, he practiced with _Kuroo_ _Tetsurou_!“ Hayao whispered to his friend, but both Tsukishima and Kuroo heard him and laughed.

„You hear that? You’re still ’the’ Kuroo Tetsurou“ Tsukishima nudged his arm, almost completely forgetting everything that happened between them. Kuroo looked that way too – once he was there, it didn’t matter how much time had passed since they last saw each other. They always picked up right where they left off and they talked like they spent every day together.

During practice it was hard to focus on the first-years. He was just as fascinated with Kuroo as they were, as embarrassing as that was. He’d never seen Kuroo tutor someone other than him, not since Lev, and the softness of his voice when he talked to the new kids was enough to melt his anxiety away. It brought back the memories of the training camp where they first met, of all those feverish nights when rummaged through his feelings and tried to erase them.

Tsukishima couldn’t wait for practice to be over so he could finally talk to Kuroo instead of pretending to pay attention to volleyball. However, once it was and everyone had gone home, he found it hard to find the right words to say to Kuroo after those hellish three weeks. All he knew is that he didn't want to feel like that ever again, not for as long as he lives.

„Thanks for coming all the way here. You really shouldn’t have, I know you always have exams in September“ he started politely.

„Sorry I didn’t text you at midnight. I wanted this to be a surprise“ Kuroo apologized, completely ignoring Tsukishima’s words of courtesy.

They were sitting on the grass, backs leaning against the wall of Karasuno’s gym, and neither of them could look at the other just yet.

„Yachi really called you, didn’t she?“

„Yeah, she did. She’s a great girl“ Kuroo smiled.

„Oh god, what did she say?“ Tsukishima asked and hugged his knees.

„First she told me it wasn’t her place to say anything, but she saw how much you suffered since we stopped speaking and she thought it would be good for me to come here today and talk to you, if I’m ready. She said to tell you how I really feel, though I don’t know how she knew about that“ he giggled at the last part.

„Kuroo, look, I’m sorry. I’m really bad at apologies, but I didn’t like not talking to you. I know I always complain about how much you pester me, but it turns out I miss it when you don’t.“ Yeah, that sounded great. Kuroo snorted.

„It’s okay, Tsukki, I always knew you were dense“ a nervous smile didn’t leave his face „I was a little selfish too, I guess. I should’ve at least given you an explanation before disappearing for three weeks. I was just afraid.“

„Of what?“ Tsukishima finally turned his head towards Kuroo, but the older boy’s eyes stayed glued to his shoes.

„Of losing you, probably“ Kuroo admitted „It still scares me to death, but I already came all the way here, so fuck it, I might as well say it."

„Okay, just spit it out!“ Tsukishima was getting scared too with all the tension Kuroo was building by beating around the bush „For what it’s worth, I don’t think there’s anything you could say right now to make me stop talking to you. I’ve tolerated a lot of stupid shit coming out of your mouth.“

Kuroo loosened up a little bit after hearing that, but a heavy breath still escaped his lips before he started talking again. „It’s definitely too late to say this, I should’ve said it years ago, but now you have a girlfriend and I finally got that final validation that you’ll never return my feelings, so I don’t even know why the fuck I’m embarrassing myself like this, but here goes. I like you, Tsukki. I’ve liked you since I first saw you.“

Tsukishima could feel his lungs collapsing. Kuroo Tetsurou came all the way from Tokyo to confess to _him_ on his birthday. It was unlike any other confession he’d ever gotten, it was a culmination of every single fantasy he’d had since his first year. The same Kuroo Tetsurou he’d spent two miserable years pining after was now rambling like a flustered schoolgirl, all because of him.

„I’m sorry, I didn’t want to ruin your birthday like this. I just hoped, you know, that honesty would be enough to put a stop to our fight, and then we could forget all about it and I’d get over it eventually? I fucked it up, huh?“ he rubbed the back of his neck again, a nervous habit Tsukishima recognized all too well, and he did his best not to sound distraught.

„Can I be honest too?" Tsukishima finally released the breath he'd been involuntarily holding in. Kuroo swallowed his spit and nodded, eyes now completely focused on Tsukishima’s face.

„I never really dated Yachi“ Tsukishima began „We agreed to tell the whole school we were dating just to hide the fact that we’re both gay. And I only told you about it because I thought it would make it easier for me to stop liking you, since I never stood a chance anyway. I don’t know why I thought it would function like that but it didn’t. I knew it was time to let go of my stupid crush and I couldn’t, not even when I hadn’t heard from you in three weeks.“

„You like me?“ Kuroo looked dumbfounded.

„You know I won’t say it twice, asshole. The last time I checked, you said you liked me too“ Tsukishima retorted.

Before he could gather his thoughts or cool down his rapidly heating cheeks, Kuroo’s hand pulled his chin closer to him. They were finally facing each other properly when that hand carefully traveled to his jaw. Regardless of the shock, Tsukishima closed his eyes on instinct and not long after that, he felt a soft pair of lips against his own.

Tsukishima got his first kiss on the day of his 18th birthday, and it was the most amazing present anyone had ever given him. The warm joy that spread across his chest could be compared to the feeling of finally getting the only dinosaur he was missing in his collection on his birthday more than ten years ago. It was a feeling of completion, of things falling into place.

Kuroo was kissing him, and he was kissing back. The chaste, close-mouthed kiss carried so much unspoken emotion and not even their dreams could’ve prepared them for something like that. He wanted so much more, he wanted to explore every corner of Kuroo’s mouth and body, but this was dizzying enough for today. He knew he’d get enough chances to do everything he had ever thought of.

„Was that your first kiss?“ Kuroo asked when he pulled away. God, he looked so irresistible, with his lips slightly red and wet and his cheeks grazed with a subtle blush.

„Was it that bad?“ Tsukishima responded with genuine concern, but Kuroo only laughed and threw his arms around his shoulders, pulling him into an incredibly close and tender hug.

„It was the best kiss of my life“ Kuroo assured him „I just wanted to make sure I didn’t have any competition either.“

„You never had any competition, idiot“ Tsukishima admitted unwillingly. After all he’s put him through, Kuroo deserved a compliment or two as a compensation, but he wasn’t going to turn into the sappy type just because he was dating him now. Were they dating now?

„So if that’s the case, would you leave Yacchan for me?“ Kuroo proposed jokingly as if he could read his mind.

„I don’t think she’ll be too crushed, since she was the one who set this whole thing up“ Tsukishima laughed too. Not only did he kiss Kuroo, he was maybe, sort of, dating Kuroo. Now _that_ was too much to process.

„So...“ Kuroo looked awkward again „You’ll be my boyfriend?“

Tsukishima hesitated for a moment, not because of his emotions, they were clear as day, but because of the thousand thoughts that finally came flooded his head once he somewhat collected himself after kissing Kuroo. „You live in Tokyo“ he said simply. It wasn’t a ’no’.

„We’ve kind of been doing this long distance thing for years“ Kuroo’s smile widened „Plus, you’re moving to Tokyo in April, so we only have to wait six more months.“

„Who said I'm moving to Tokyo?" Tsukishima was genuinely confused.

„You’re starting college, right? You’re smart enough to go to Tokyo, hell, you could even get a volleyball scholarship if you win enough games this season. If that’s what you want, of course“ Kuroo explained like it was a given. But he wasn’t wrong. Tsukishima was planning on going to Tokyo, and he was one of the reasons behind that.

„Ah, it’s okay if you don’t want to, I can totally wait for your answer!“ Kuroo defended himself after a moment of Tsukishima’s silence.

„I think we’ve both done enough waiting“ Tsukishima smiled and leaned in to kiss him again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay, a happy ending!   
> but don't worry, there's still an epilogue - my absolute favorite part!


	4. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated BOTH my fics today because I'm just very hyper about everything!  
> Since I can't give you all chocolates today, here's a ton of fluff!!!

The six months went by in a flash and Kei felt all sorts of butterflies in his stomach on the morning of their graduation day.

More than six months had passed since he officially started dating Kuroo, and it has been nothing short of blissful. He returned the favor by coming to Tokyo on his birthday (it was just a lucky coincidence that he had a training camp there that week, but still), they kept calling and texting like before and nothing changed drastically.

The only novelty was the little compliments and „I miss you“’s, and an occasional heated late night chat, but that never hurt anyone. They saw each other at least once a month, but as much as he looked forward to it, Tsukishima felt guilty for not being able to come to Tokyo unless volleyball enabled him or even invite Kuroo to spend the night at his house when he came to Sendai. He just couldn’t risk his mom and brother finding out about them, but that was about to change.

Kuroo promised he’d come to see him graduate, as well as many other upperclassmen they’d played volleyball with, so it wouldn’t be weird. In two weeks, Kei will finally be moving in with Kuroo, since Bokuto was going to live with Akaashi. It was terrifying and sounded like an awfully short time, but they’ve been friends for three years. Tsukishima’s mother was thrilled to find out he had a familiar face he could share the rent with and she couldn’t wait to meet Kuroo. Some details were omitted.

It was the materialization of all the secret hopes he'd harbored since his first year – getting accepted into the best university in the country (the same one Kuroo went to), living with Kuroo, dating Kuroo. Tsukishima still didn’t think he deserved all that happiness, so he made sure to always show how grateful he was for all of it. In his own way, at least.

Kuroo made his walls come down little by little. He still didn’t find it easy to express his emotions verbally, and he very much needed his personal space, but Kuroo was extremely understanding and let Tsukishima set up the pace of their relationship. Really, Tsukishima couldn’t have chosen a better boyfriend even if he got him custom made.

His heart skipped three beats when he saw Kuroo in a neatly ironed white button-up, a tie and professional pants, standing there with the rest of his family and smiling at him as he accepted his high school diploma. He’ll miss Karasuno’s volleyball team, spending hours and hours with his friends every day, even Kageyama’s and Hinata’s constant bickering. He’ll miss his kouhais looking up at him like he was some kind of a Greek god, he’ll miss the kind coaches and the thrill that came with facing their eternal rivals. But he wouldn’t have to miss Kuroo anymore.

He didn’t want to think about leaving all his friends in Miyagi while he’s in an enormous, unknown city where he only knew about three people, there’s no reason to think about that right now. It was the most bittersweet moment of his life – an ending of something wonderful that could also be the beginning of something just as good, if not even better. It was a change, and Tsukishima Kei always hated changes, but luckily there were a lot of positive aspects to this one.

Kuroo gave his mom a tissue to wipe her tears and Tsukishima almost shed some himself when he saw that scene. Akiteru held a small camera like a middle-aged dad on his child’s first school play, which was borderline embarrassing, but he couldn’t be mad at him today. He stood on the podium with the rest of his class, bowed and finally stepped down.

Everyone he’s ever called a friend was waiting there for him. All the seniors they’ve played with were able to make it (why was _Suga_ crying?), flashing them smiles of proud parents, and even Bokuto and Akaashi came with Kuroo, which was a nice surprise from him. Tanaka and Nishinoya were both hanging from Tobio’s flushed neck while Sawamura ruffled Hinata’s hair and told him he looked like he grew a few inches since the last time he saw him (which was the best compliment anyone could give him).

The first person to run into Tsukishima’s arms was, of course, his mom, and then he was forcefully pulled into one of Akiteru’s bear hugs. Yamaguchi and Hinata cried like babies while squeezing the remaining air out of his lungs, and even Kageyama gave him two pats on the back. He had to bend down to hug Yachi, even though she leaped at him, and she was also a red sobbing mess.

“Tsuuuuukiiii” Bokuto cried out and crushed what was left of his bones with his hug. Akaashi smiled fondly at him and congratulated like a normal person would, which Tsukishima very much appreciated after all the hugging and crying into his face.

Finally, he could hug Kuroo. It was a different hug, both stronger and more comfortable than any other. It was a lover’s hug. A hug he’ll wake up in every morning from now on, hopefully forever.

“Dude, I can’t wait ‘til you get to Tokyo! Your boyfriend here has been freaking out for a month now and he pretty much made me renovate the entire apartment. You’ll be in good hands” Bokuto dished out with a smile, unaware of the fact that many people present didn’t know he and Kuroo were together.

“ _Boyfriend?!_ ” Hinata was the first one to jump.

“Yeah, kinda…” Kuroo chuckled nervously when he saw how Tsukishima hung his head down.

“That’s so cool!” the small redhead said “Man, why is Stingyshima the one who gets to date a great volleyball player?!”

Kuroo laughed and Tsukishima seemed to have loosened up too. Thankfully, his mom and Akiteru made no comments (although Akiteru looked beyond surprised), only smiled supportively.

“Oh, I almost forgot!” Kuroo took a big pink bouquet that Akiteru was holding for him, but the terror that washed over Tsukishima’s face went away quickly as he gave it to Yachi.

“I never got the chance to thank you properly, Yacchan” he said with a glowing white smile on his face “Thank you of taking care of Tsukki for me. And congratulations on your graduation!”

Yachi bowed down deeply as she accepted the flowers and turned an even deeper shade of red.

“Oh yeah, and we also got you something!” Hinata announced and took a little white box out of his bag. The small card attached to the pink bow read: _“To the best manager in the world, forever yours, Karasuno boys’ volleyball club”_

Yachi started crying before even opening the box and they all went in for a big group hug. Even their kouhais started crying when they finally realized they'll never play with them again. During their last practice (which was almost more heartbreaking than graduation day) Tsukishima gave a goodbye speech and named the new captain, but it was only now that he really felt he was leaving Karasuno.

“Come on, open it!” Yamaguchi insisted, but Yachi still couldn’t stop sniffling. With shaky hands she removed the satin bow and revealed a silver necklace with a star-shaped pendant. Inside of it was a miniature, barely intelligible picture of all five current third-years together. That’s when the tears really started flowing.

Tsukishima, with his eyes still not being clouded by tears, noticed that one of his kouhais stepped closer to him and looked more nervous than sad. He turned to him with a puzzled look on his face.

“Tsu-Tsukishima-senpai!” Hayao called him “I know you’re moving to Tokyo now, but I didn’t want to part ways without telling you my true feelings. Please just accept this letter!”

The younger middle blocker bowed down and held out what was most likely a confession letter. Tsukishima admired his bravery – god knows he wasn’t able to confess to a boy in his first year, especially not in front of so many people. He took the letter and smiled at Hayao, who reminded him a lot of his younger self.

“Thank you, Hayao-kun, I’m really happy you think so highly of me” he began his first genuine, unprepared rejection "But I’m already taken.”

He squeezed Kuroo’s hand and smiled at him – unwavering, unapologetic.

Out of all the people who knew how bad Tsukishima was at expressing his feelings (meaning, everyone) Kuroo was the most shocked one. He knew how much Tsukishima hated PDA, how afraid he was of others’ opinions of him, but there he was, proud to say he was taken by Kuroo.

“Oh, I understand!” Hayao said without a trace of sadness. Even though he was rejected, his eyes were glowing with things Tsukishima knew all too well. It was the acknowledgment that he too could find happiness one day, even though he was different, that mattered more to him than dating Tsukishima. He patted his underclassman’s head, not letting go of Kuroo’s hand.

“Believe me, you do not want to date this guy! He’s never been that nice to me as he was to you in this short conversation” Kuroo complained to Hayao with a smile just as fond as Kei’s. Hayao and everyone else around them giggled because they knew how true it was, but Tsukishima pretended to be mad.

“What, are you jealous? Want me to ruffle your hair too?!” he asked and reached to destroy Kuroo’s already messy hair and he tried to escape his fast hand, but failed.

“Ow, Tsukki, do you know how hard I tried to look presentable today?” he cried.

“It looks the same to me. I can’t make it worse than it already is.”

Everyone laughed at their banter and it was a nice break from all the crying. Whether or not he was aware of it, Tsukishima was still carrying out his captain duties. He made sure no one suffered too much because of their graduation, he wanted them to have the happiest last day of school possible.

“Okay, so” Tsukishima’s mom stepped in “Why don’t the graduates go celebrate together somewhere and the three of us will wait for you at home?”

“Oh, no, we have to go back to the train station in about an hour” Kuroo declined politely, with a hint of embarrassment.

“Nonsense, you’re staying with us tonight!” she insisted while hitting his arm playfully and Akiteru agreed. Tsukishima couldn’t remember why he thought they wouldn’t take it well. Of course, there was still no guarantee his boyfriend would still be alive by the time he came home, but this sounded promising.

“Tsukki, is that fine with –“ Kuroo tried to ask him, but two older Tsukishimas pushed him by the shoulders before Kei could say anything. He only waved at Kuroo and giggled at his predicament before going to a nearby ramen restaurant with his four friends.

“Hiichan!” a girl’s voice shouted from the crowd just as they went through the school gates.

“Shimizu-senpai!” Yachi squeaked. The corner of Tsukishima’s lips curled knowingly.

“Sorry, I couldn’t find you among all these people. I hope I’m not too late?” Kiyoko said with cheeks almost as red as Yachi’s. Yachi waved her arms around in denial, as she often did, and Shimizu let out a relieved sigh. She warmly greeted and congratulated the boys too, before asking to borrow Yachi for just a minute.

“Go ahead without me, I’ll be there!” Yachi told them and Tsukishima ordered the three idiots to stop staring.

When Yachi came to the restaurant almost forty minutes later, Tsukishima could easily read the color of her face and the shimmer in her eyes.

“So?” he whispered once Yachi sat down next to him. Her only response was to throw her arms around Tsukishima’s neck and bury her burning face in his chest to muffle her screams. He laughed as a single thought flashed through his mind:

_“This is what true happiness feels like”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried while writing this because I'm a high school senior myself, but yeah, it's a happy ending!  
> Hope you enjoyed the fic at least half as much as I did <3

**Author's Note:**

> I actually worked hard on this fic because I want these two to interact so badly, and I had fun writing it, so please tell me your impressions! Thank you for reading <3


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